What she says vs What she means

Ridwan Hafiz
3 min readFeb 2, 2020

Disclaimer: I am planning to write a series of articles from different perspectives; be it from the point of view of a girl, or a boy, or a boss, or a mother etc. As a disclaimer, I must say this article is only based on my personal experiences, my surroundings and my research. Doesn’t necessarily mean this is applicable to every girl in the world. The motive of this article is not to demean anyone, whatsoever.

Have you ever been in a relationship? Have you ever had a problem understanding your partner? Of course, you have. Relationships are tough, it takes continuous effort. Unfortunately there is no shortcut here. But, what you can do, is to try to ‘understand’ your partner better. Face the fact, she won’t always spoon-feed you. Sometimes you just need to understand what she actually means. Following are a list of things that you should know.

When she says “I am Fine.”

There are so many times you probably saw that she’s down or upset or something is bothering her. You, being a nice guy definitely asked “What happened dear?”. She usually says ‘Nothing, I am fine’. Here’s your reality check. She is NOT. Whenever they say they are fine, this usually means something bad has happened. It can be as small as forgetting to do laundry or as big as you forgetting your anniversary. But 1 thing is certain; She’s NOT FINE. The mistakes that we make at this point is, we keep asking and poking them. Trust me, I have made this same mistake 100 times to know that this is wrong. If they don’t want to share, don’t push. Just be there if they want to talk, otherwise wait till her mood gets better and then ask her. Asking continuously will make things worse.

When she says “Order anything you want to eat.”

This is tricky. Whether you are going out on a date night or you are ordering in for movie night (read Netflix & Chill); you probably ask “Hey honey, what do you want for dinner?” They usually say “Anything you want”. Don’t fall into it. The actual meaning is “You know me very well and you know what I want. Why don’t you figure it out, dumbass?”. So, think twice before you choose a restaurant otherwise it will be only Netflix for you.

When she says “Pick one of these dresses for me.”

What she really meant is “I already picked one in my mind. Let me see if you know me enough to know my choice.” Here’s a hack for you. Unless you are 100% sure, always say ‘both’. She’s will look so beautiful in both that it’s impossible for you to pick one.

When she says “We need to talk about our relationship.”

It usually means “I will talk about our relationship and you will listen (obey)”. This is actually helpful for us. Usually women are way more intelligent and thoughtful than men. They should be the ones thinking and deciding about our relationship. Our job is just to follow their decision.

When she says “Have fun with your friends”

She really meant ‘Have fun with your friends. But don’t forget that I am your best friend. Don’t have too much fun that you will regret with your best friend.’ No guy is more lucky if he’s friends with his partner. If you are, throw in some texts to her while you are watching/playing games with your bros. Remember, your partners are not naive. It doesn’t take much to make them happy. Just realize the importance of her in your life and express to them.

I am very fortunate that my fiancé communicates with me clearly (most times) and I can share everything with her. After 2–3 fights, it always gets better. You just need to be patient and persistent if you want your relationship to work.

Hope you all will enjoy the piece. Comment here and share your experiences.

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Ridwan Hafiz

Entrepreneur | Digital Marketeer | Traveler | Part-time Boxer | Aspiring Writer